He Doesn't Want You. Why Do You Still Want Him?


Breaking up is not only hard to do. It can feel like pure torture. Especially if you weren’t the one to end the relationship.

It’s one thing to vent to your friends or watch reruns of Love Jones and Brown Sugar in the privacy of your own Netflix subscription. But if it’s been more than a couple of months and you still feel just like you did the day the both of you ended things, this article is for you. If instead of healing you’re doing any and everything in your power to try and win him back (even though he shows you no interest), maybe you should take a moment and think about why you still want him. 

We’ve got a few theories…

You’re Addicted To The Chase

Guys are not the only people who are “addicted to the chase." Some women like it, too. 

However, it’s one thing to ask a guy out or to make the first move. It’s another thing to exert all of your time and energy to try and convince someone that you’re worthy of their love and affection. If you have to chase, it’s only going to wear you out. If not now, eventually. And “eventually” might take your dignity right along with it.

He’s Sending Mixed Messages

It’s hard to believe he doesn’t want you if he’s sending mixed signals. We’ve been there and done that. Here’s what you have to always remember about a mixed signal, though. If you’re involved with someone who sends you on an emotional roller coaster ride or leaves you feeling confused, he’s playing games. Or at least, he’s not sure if he wants you (or wants you back). 

You deserve better and more. If he’s not being clear about if he wants you or not, know this: he doesn’t want you enough and you should move completely on.

You Haven’t Made A Clean Break

Sometimes we still want someone because we’ve refused to make a clean break. We’re still calling or texting. We’re still checking their social media accounts. We’re doing whatever we can to still remain attached on some level. You don’t owe an ex your friendship. If it’s going to be too hard on you emotionally to remain in contact with him, leave him totally alone—on and offline.

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