Have you ever had sex that was really painful? I am not talking about your first time or the one time with a guy with a penis the size of jumbo pickle from Disneyland. I am talking about those times when you can't seem to get wet, making penetration feel like a thousand knives scraping the inside of your vagina.
I used to think that I was the only one who hated the beginning of sex, but I now know that that is not true. Most women feel this way.
Unlike guys, it takes a long time for women to "get in the mood". One of my guy friends says that sometimes it takes as little as the cool breeze that comes from the refrigerator after he opens it in search of a beer. For women, it is much more complicated. We need foreplay.
Kissing. Licking. Bondage. Whatever you want, but it is physically impossible for us to get wet as instantly as a guy can get hard. Eventually, we start to panic about our wetness, audibly telling our partner that we are interested in them. To say it is frustrating is an understatement.
If you are anything like me, you have hurried up the process by saying something like "I want you inside me," knowing that it will be painful. However, once he is inside you and starts to thrust, you vagina naturally becomes wetter, a classic catch 22.
But it does not have to be this way.
Drag out foreplay for a few minutes longer and take your time. Maybe turn it into a game. The more you tease him, the more he will tease you, arousing both parties. Worse comes to worse just use lube. Anything from coconut oil to KY Warming Gel is acceptable and healthy for you and your partner.
Another reason why you might be experiencing pain during sex is you might have an infection. Sex with a UTI, yeast infection, or anything else is no fun at all and only makes the infection more painful and around longer. Be sure to go to your doctor if you really feel that you have an infection, and take a break from sex while you heal. Your partner will understand, I promise.
If it takes you a while to get wet, don't worry. It is natural. Enjoy the build up and listen to your body. You will know when you start to get wet. Sex is what you make of it, and there is no reason why you shouldn't enjoy it.