Here's What To Do When Your Marriage Becomes Sexless

unhappy couple in bed
Getty Images

Is it just us, or does it seem like two topics that are coming up more and more are grey divorces (people who end their relationship after decades of marriage) and sexless marriages (couples who only have sex between 10-15 times per year)?

And after spending some time in cyberspace on the topic of sexless marriages, here are some of the things that we discovered:

Between 15-20 percent of married couples are in a sexless marriage.

On average, couples have sex 68 times a year.

Children, boredom, poor communication, low self-esteem, unforgivingness, emotional affairs, financial stress, and hectic schedules all play a role in sexless unions.

A "lack of interest from their partner" is what both spouses claim is the biggest issue.

20-30 percent of men and 30-50 percent of women claim to have no sex drive at all.

Geeze, when you think about all of the good things that sex does for you (gives you energy, boosts your confidence, reduces stress, helps you lose weight, makes you more productive, connects you with your partner, etc.), these are pretty grim statistics.

If you can relate, (pardon the pun), don’t take being in a sexless marriage lying down. There are things you can do, as soon as tonight, to get you and your partner’s sex drives and sex lives back on track!

Eat Better

woman eating pizza

If you and your spouse are the kind of couple who are madly in love (and attracted to each other), but every night, all you can do is look at each other and mumble “I love you” before falling asleep, your exhaustion might have something to do with your diet. 

Foods that can boost your libido include citrus fruit and broccoli (they both contain Vitamin C which increases blood circulation); eggs (protein will give you both more stamina) and watermelon (its low in calories, high in vitamins and has the reputation for producing a Viagra-like affect). 

Also, reduce your processed foods, especially sweets. All those do is give you a quick boost of energy—and then totally drain you.

Get More Rest

woman putting a pillow over a man's head

The truth is that most of us aren’t getting the amount of rest that we should (6-8 hours) on a daily basis. Sleep deprivation leads to bad moods, lack of concentration and productivity, low energy levels, constant food cravings and yes, a low libido. 

If you’re averaging less than five hours, for the sake of your health and sex drive, make the necessary adjustments to improve that.

Get Out Of The Same Routine

Corrine Olympios being bored

If you can already predict how the sex is gonna go, including how long it’s gonna take, the sheer boredom alone may be why you’re trying to avoid doing it. 

It’s really easy for married couples to fall into a sexual rut: same place, same position, same foreplay, same…same…you fill in the blanks. 

If the two of you average no more than four sex-capades a month, try something new. Get out of the bed and the missionary position. Set your alarm for the middle of the night. Sext throughout the day to build up anticipation. 

Be intentional about doing what you need to do in order to bring the excitement back that the two of you once had. You know, before you both had your laptops and remote controls in each other’s laps more than each other. (Just sayin’)

Page 1 of 3 | View As One Page

Click here to get alerts of the latest stories