You May Be A 'Demisexual' & Not Even Know It

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Are you demisexual?

Before you say no, you might want to pause, because more and more people are realizing they could be demisexual and not even know it. 

The idea of demisexuality has risen in the last years as a direct response to the omnipresence of hookup culture. A demisexual is basically the opposite of that whole environment. If you're demisexual, you are most certainly not swiping right to tons of people just in the name of having fun. 

So what is it exactly, you ask?

Glamour spoke with a relationships expert named Nikki Goldstein who gave a succinct definition of demisexuality.

“Demisexuality is about an emotional bond with someone, which might seem obvious as most of us need an emotional bond for either a sexual or romantic connection..However demisexuals require this first for anything else to develop," she said.

In other words, demisexuals are people who need to feel emotionally connected with a person before engaging with them physically. 

So yeah, there's a good chance you're a demisexual. Told you!

As the nature of sexual and platonic relationships becomes more and more complicated for the millennial generation, it's become increasingly important for us to create a variety of options for how we want to define ourselves and our sexuality. Hetero, homo or bi is no longer enough to explain your sex drive, your attractions, or your intentions. 

Demisexuality is a way for some people to regain their identities in a time when emotionless hookups are happening left and right. Before, we might have described ourselves as "traditional" or even "prudish" for not wanting to sleep with a complete stranger, but that doesn't quite fit with the times anymore.

But don't prepare for all of your friends to start "coming out" as demisexuals. The term is still slowly creating shape, and it's most likely going to be second fiddle to sexual preference. In other words, people are still mostly defining themselves by who or what they're attracted to, not how their attraction for someone flourishes. 

Still, it's pretty cool to see the sexual universe opening up to accommodate everyone and anyone. Demisexuals, welcome. Own it.

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